Blast from the past

Hi all!

Don’t you love how some songs take you back? I’m going through a stage of listening to CDs in my van that I haven’t heard in ages; one that I’ve put in there recently is the American Idiot album by Green Day, which I listened to a fair bit when it came out. I was playing through the album one journey, smiling at memories from that period of my life. The smile changed when I heard the drum beat and the acoustic guitar intro to track 7, “Give me novacaine”. Straight away my memories turned to a good few years ago when I was living at home and having a lot of pain in my stomach. When these really intense pains came on I used to hide away in my bedroom to let them pass, often with music on in the background. I would normally ride them out on my bed, curled in a ball pulling in on my stomach like in the picture below. Needless to say this was a long way from a fun occurrence, especially when it happened daily and sometimes multiple times a day. More often than not this would happen just after eating, regardless of how safe or adventurous I had been with my meal choice.

P1020224_Fotor

A common position at one point; fortunately I can’t actually remember the last time my stomach was this bad

I guess this song stuck out from the rest because some of the lyrics seemed to fit; the reference to the sensation being overwhelming and even the opening line “Take away the sensation inside” all seemed to relate to how I felt. Unfortunately for me, there was nothing that I could take to make much difference; no novocaine equivalent in my case. I’ve read a fair few different theories on hidden meanings behind the song about love, conflicting alter-egos, wanting to escape either pain or other stuff going on in the world. For me: I’ve been taking the lyrics at face value; to me the song is talking about using this painkilling drug called novocaine to ease the physical pain that the person is feeling. I guess you could say that I was hoping for something that could make a difference. I used to take some painkillers when things were bad, and tried a number of different reliefs from the pain, however I never really found anything to make a difference. It’s strange; I moved out about 6 years ago; a lot of experiences have been had and a lot of music has been listened too in that time. But just the introduction of the song managed to bring back that feeling, that period of my life as though I had just seen an old photograph in a dusty box at the back of a cupboard.

Now note here that I said the smile didn’t disappear as I listened to the song. It just changed. It changed from one reminiscing happy memories from the previous songs to one that was perhaps more reflective. It was the smile of a guy recognising that yes: he had had these darker parts of his life, but also a guy who is now – for the time being at least – out of the woods with those problems. He knows that he had these dark times, and that there is a fair to good chance that he will find himself in this situation again in the future. However: he hasn’t given in or let this knowledge get him down. In short: he’s a stubborn little sod who’s not letting this past or this potential future occurrence stop him!

KBO

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About tomcoppin

Hello! I'm Tom, and have started this blog to share my experience of living life with a condition called Crohn's Disease. I've had the condition for a long time and have recently undergone surgery, hence the scar in the picture. I want to share my experiences to raise awareness of Crohn's, as well as helping out people who have been diagnosed. If you have any questions then feel free to message or comment and I will answer! Have a great day people. KBO
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2 Responses to Blast from the past

  1. doobarz says:

    I can certainly relate to the power of music to bring back memories, particularly as my battle with UC is now coming up to 11 years, and has distinct phases! It is always good to be able to reflect though, and hopefully your days of hiding in the bedroom are behind you.

    Liked by 1 person

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